Life is short. You never, ever know what the next second might throw your way. While you can retain control over certain things, there are so many aspects that are so far beyond your control that you need to learn to let go...and how I wish I could follow my own advice but frankly have never been able to. I truly am my own worst enemy when it comes to stress and control...I try to control it all and do the usual superficial smile and "all's okay"...at the end of the day, it's okay to be human. It's okay to have vunerability...to be a tad bit weak in some regards.
This year I turned 30. I must admit I did freak out just a bit in the beginning but honestly; while having the most amazing 30th and in the best way, with Mom in the Dominican Republic, ocean-side, it was all perfect. I truly do have the most amazing mother. She is my rock; she is my world. She truly, in my mind, is the most amazing human being to ever grace this earth with her presence. I couldn't be more lucky. The challenges she has overcome in her life are not for the faint of heart; yet she has met each challenge with passion and dedication to always ensuring that the greater good will prevail and that this will truly pass and make each day stronger and worth every breath. She is my hero. Knowing how much I love sailing she has said she is my lighthouse...to guide me safely back into harbor. I will never be able to thank her enough. She knows what it means but Mom, if you read this...I love you to the number that never ends...always have; always will.
This year also marks another milestone...This past 5th of May marks 15 years since my father passed. I must say, it was odd...I mean, really? Wow, it means that this year...he's been dead for as long as I knew him. It's strange. It's very strange. I miss him. It's odd because there are days where it feels as though it happened yesterday; days where it feels like it was 15 years ago and I hate to admit but in all candor there are days where it feels like you've forgotten; as though you never really had him in your life to begin with. That thought I hate the most but I am human and it is true. What will always make me remember though are those most important words that will absolutely never leave my memory..."daddy loves you"....and that brings it all back. As time goes by and life goes on, I know those words will never fade. There's no way in hell I would let them.
And for now, I'm going to get my lovely flu-ridden self back under the covers and hope tomorrow brings some relief for my bones and joints...ugh, my body feels like it's going to snap in half every time I move. :( Until then...peaceful dreams to you all. Wherever you may be, it's just geography; we are all under the same stars; the same sky...so under "our" sky I wish us a beautiful sunrise and may the day greet us all with happiness; health and new precious memories to build upon our book of life.
Cheers.
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